Premature Ejaculation – Sex Therapy

First it may be useful to define what premature ejaculation is. Although it may seem self explanatory, one problem may be that you or your partner’s expectation of sexual stamina, often nurtured by popular culture, are unrealistic.

Usually, premature ejaculation is diagnosed when a man frequently  ejaculates sooner during intercourse than he or his partner wishes, either  before penetration or shortly after.

If you do suffer from premature ejaculation there are behavioral approaches to the problem and medication. While medication, such as SSRI, may help – they  are effective only while being taken. Once you stop taking the medication the effect also passes. The other downside of taking these medications is that you will need to cope with their side effects. This is why it is better to start with the behavioral methods rather than start with medication. Those can be added later if needed.

Contrary to common beliefs the behavioral approach does not involve either mental numbing, such as distracting yourself from the sensations, or physical numbing with some form of  numbing cream. Somewhat surprisingly, the most successful approaches involve heightening your awareness to your physical sensations, while maintaining physical relaxation. Only by increased awareness and mindfulness, you can learn to regulate better your arousal level, and hence your ejaculation.

These two  self help books teach the basic sex therapy techniques for dealing with this problem.
How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation

Coping With Premature Ejaculation: How to Overcome PE, Please Your Partner & Have Great Sex

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Low Sexual Desire – Women

One of the most common reason that women and couples seek sexual counseling is the women’s low sexual desire.

Surprisingly enough, many times the problem is the birth control pill. If you are on the pill, and are suffering from low sexual desire, try to switch to a birth control method, that does not involve hormones. You may want to consult your OB/GYN practitioner, or go to Planned Parenthood. Often the counselor at Planned Parenthood will dedicate more time to hear your concerns, and may suggest a wider selection of options to choose from. Be aware that it may take several months for your body to recover.

Clearly the pill does not always affect women in this way, or you may not be using the pill. There are many other reasons for the low sexual desire.

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