Michelle Samuel

One of the most common reason that women and couples seek sexual counseling is the women’s low sexual desire.

Surprisingly enough, many times the problem is the pill. If you are on the pill, and are suffering from low sexual desire, try to switch to a birth control method, that does not involve hormones. You may want to consult your OB/GYN practitioner, or go to Planned Parenthood. Often the counselor at Planned Parenthood will dedicate more time to hear your concerns, and may suggest a wider selection of options to choose from. Be aware that it may take several months for your body to recover.

Clearly the pill does not always affect women in this way, or you may not be using the pill. There are many other reasons for the low sexual desire.

Recommended movie: Waltz with Bashir

“Waltz with Bashir” is an  examination of post traumatic stress disorder in veterans. This Israeli animated film is a documentary on the Lebanon war, that took place in the early 1980’s.  The movie documents  the  journey of the director back into into the horrors of that war.  The director is driven to delve into his past  in an effort to fill in a period in his life that he has blanked out, but fills him with unease

The movie consist in interviews of people that were there, in Lebanon. The “animated” people in the movie are real people, identified by their real name.

As the director searches out friends from that period in his life he comes across the many forms that PTSD can take. Some have recurring nightmares they cannot shake off; or flashbacks that disturb their daily activities. One of the veterans could go through the day only by smoking marijuana incessantly. He left Israel , distancing himself from this environment, probably to avoid any trigger that could remind him of the war.

Most veterans felt guilt. Guilt for what they have done, or have not done, or failed to prevent. Sometimes even guilt for surviving, while others died.

The movie shows that  PTSD  may be caused not only by  traumatic events that were personally experienced but horrors that were witnessed and events that fundamentally violate the ethics on which we were raised.

Sometimes PTSD takes the form of being alienated of daily life. One of the protagonists came for vacation from the war. He walks down the familiar street, but everything he sees seemed  strange, different. He cannot engage in the regular mundane life, with all its trivialities.  When I worked with veterans in Israel, many times this was the most disturbing symptom. As if they are not fully alive any more.

Many of the protagonists would be considered  ”functional”. They manage to work and to have family. They probably do not fullfill the full criteria of PTSD as defined in the DSM. Nevertheless, they suffer. Their quality of life is diminished. Sometimes they are not able to apply their full potential, even if they seem from the outside as functioning people.

Now, that American soldiers are coming back from Iraq, this movie is more important than ever. It helps the victims of PTSD and their families understand  what they are going through. Hopefully, this movie will help them see that they are not “crazy” and will reduce their loneliness.

Warning: In spite of the movie’s  striking  beauty, it is not an easy movie to watch.

This little known book describes the inner experience of depression, in a very sensitive and authentic way. Its charm lies in the fact that in spite of the very real description of depression, It is full of hope. for
In the beginning Lea, The main character, is in her deepest moment of despair. The world seemed bleak, senseless and cruel. She feels complete alienation. Her pain was so great, that she tried to jump from a bridge, in a futile attempt to commit suicide. An alien caught her and saved her life.
The first step to her recovery was numbing her emotional pain. The alien temporarily numbed Lea’s pain and locked her in a house, in order to protect her. (Fantasy equivalent to psychotropic medication? Hospitalization?) Lea felt better, though numbed. She knew that the numbness was a temporary relief, a crutch to support her during the process of recovery.
The alien brought her to a secret gathering of a community of aliens, the “people”. The people are human-like aliens endowed with psychic powers, who live in a deeply spiritual community. They were scattered around after crash landing on Earth. Some individuals were separated and had to cope by themselves, hiding their real identity a coping with their “otherness”. Lea participated in many night gatherings, During these night gatherings the participants told their life stories.
Hearing the stories, in the context of a community, was the beginning of her recovery process. Lea initially did not want to believe in the wonder of life. She was reluctant to relinquish her pain and loneliness. Those, at least, were familiar. It took time before she really committed herself to the recovery process, and started to fight depression on her own.
Henderson’s prescription for recovery is twofold. She sees community and faith as the two prescriptions of recovery and life.
Lea’s recovery took place in the context of a community. When Lea looked around and heard so many stories about suffering , she asked herself where their strength comes from. And she answered herself: “ When anyone of them cries out the others hear – and listen. Not just with their ears but with their hearts. No matter who cries out – someone listens-“
Henderson sees depression as lack of faith. The lack of faith makes the world so bleak. Only faith can restore meaning to so much suffering. Only faith can mitigate the sense of loneliness.
There are other traditions within the mental health realm that consider faith and community as central components of recovery, such as all the self help groups that are AA based. Faith and participation in community are considered a prerequisite for recovery.
Henderson’s prescriptions for recovery are challenging. As a therapist myself, Can I prescribe faith or community? I do not know. Is faith, or community, always beneficial? Probably not. However, I find her intuition, that probably stemmed from her own experience, very inspiring.
Ingathering: The Complete People Stories of Zenna Henderson

If you have any concerns regarding your sexual health, or you want to learn more about your body and sexuality, start  from this book:
Sex Matters for Women: A Complete Guide to Taking Care of Your Sexual Self

Another option is the old and reliable book written by a group of women:
Our Bodies, Ourselves: A New Edition for a New Era

Many people use a  journal to enhance their well being.  A journal can have a wide variety of uses. The Journal can enhance a persons creativity. The Journal may also be helpful in managing the writers emotions. The Journal may be a useful tool in delving into, and coming to terms with ones past

One technique is recommended in  The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity [10th Anniversary Edition].

The instruction provided in the “Artists Way”   is  to write what ever comes to mind. You should let the written words pour out in a stream of consciousness with no regard or concern for literary value. The method is based on the assumption that no one will ever see your journal so you are free to write whatever comes to mind. In fact you are advised not to look back and reread what you wrote. It is the act of uninhibited writing that is therapeutic. This technique was initially developed to enhance creativity. Clinical experience shows that it support mental health as well.

People that are depressed should be cautious using this method. For some, it can be beneficial. Others may find that this method exacerbates their depression . They may use the free flowing journal to dwell on minor faults  and sorrows. These people may benefit more from a more structured way of journaling.

One of the simplest structured forms of writing a journal to help alleviate depression is, at the end of the day, to write down three things that you are grateful for.  It is important to persevere and to write down three real things that are unique; not to repeat oneself day after day. As simple as this may sound, studies have shown a beneficial effect of this method. It gradually alters the way we perceive our world.

The answer: Exercise.
Interestingly enough, not all exercise yields the same results.  Aerobic exercise is more effective than stretching and weight lifting. Most studies used walking, as this is the easiest and most acceible exercise for older adults.  It was  found that the cognitive improvement correlated to the distance walked and not to the speed.  So now you know, take a long peaceful walk, improve your mind and enjoy the view.

(Taken from Hertzog et all, Scientific American Mind,  July-August 2009)

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Psychotherapy does not have to always be  a serious endeavor. Sometimes  laughter can be more effective than tears.

Loretta Laroche is a clinical psychologist, and a stand up comedian; an unusual combination. Her CD’s and DVD’s teach the basics of cognitive behavioral therapy and existential therapy through a humorous examination of her own life. Very uplifting, lots of common sense, gives a great perspective on life.

An effective audio antidepressant.

A very inspiring book.

It was assumed in the past that the brain is like a machine. It was supposed to have specialized centers with fixed locations. It was assumed that only in early infancy, in specific critical periods, the brain is plastic and can change. Therefore, until recently, conventional wisdom held that if   functionality was lost through brain damage the loss was irrevocable.  Most forms of neurological  disorder were considered incurable.

This book’s  premise is that our brain is more plastic then was previously thought. Given the right stimulus,  the brain behaves like a living organism. It  can be trained; it  can change  structure, compensate and adjust for a disability; it can even  recover  functions and develop new functions in adulthood.

Each chapter describes a different method that was used to successfully  overcome a neurological induced disability, from inborn learning disability, to stoke, to traumatic brain injury. This description is done through detailed case histories and interviews. The methods used range anywhere from complex machines to softwares programs and prescribed exercises.

Since neurology and psychiatry are closely intertwined, the book deals with some psychiatric disorders such as as OCD, sexual addiction, and depression.  I believe that the principles outlined in this book can and will be used in the future to treat  more psychiatric disorders.

This is a picture book about a little girl that was sexually abused. The book describes  the inner dynamics and emotions of the little girl, from shame to self blame. This book  can be helpful not only for children, but also for adults dealing with the aftermath of sexual abuse.

The book is currently out of print, but a few copies can still be found on the web. I hope the publishers will re-issue this book.

I Cant Talk About It: A Child's Book About Sexual Abuse (Hurts of Childhood Series)