Many people believe that they will function better if they “beat themselves up”. They believe that harsh self criticism is an effective way to motivate themselves.
Actually, research shows that those people that are high in self compassion, which does not imply self indulgence or self deception, are better adjusted and recover better from life crisis. They do not waste their energy on self blame.
For those who struggle with being compassionate to themselves, the best path is to focus on the compassion they have for others. It is beneficial to view those things that anger us about ourselves through the prism of those around us. We are often more forgiving to failings in those around us than those failings in ourselves. We may perceive this as a strength but it is actually a weakness. Through compassion to others it is possible to learn a degree of self compassion.
You can find recorded meditation for self compassion here:
According to Kristin Neff, The power of self compassion.
